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So other than having a rather lackluster reboot first appearance in 2016 with the X-Men: Apocalypse movie, Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters resident redhead hottie Jean Grey is now getting a lot of internet searches, thanks to the upcoming Dark Phoenix movie.
From what first-time viewers are surmising, Jean Grey is a scary, fiery, telepathic/telekinetic mutant that you should not touch with a 100-foot pole, and maybe you should not even be in the same state as her.
But is she really that scary? And why is everyone so scared of the Phoenix? And who really thinks I would give out spoilers here?
Forget all those questions, and let's just focus on one thing for the moment here folks, ok? Jean Grey is a person, a misunderstood mutant gifted with unspeakably powerful psionic abilities, housed in her unbelievably hot form.
That being said, and since I have little regard for my life, here are 5 reasons why I would still date the Dark Phoenix.
1. Jean is a Flaming Hot Red Head
That statement alone would probably hook in a couple more other guys who like living dangerously. How many other guys could boast of dating a red head who's not just hot, she's I-eat-stars-for-breakfast hot.
2. Everything is better with Telekinesis
Menial things like making a sandwich or cleaning the car will no longer be a problem with Jean around. We don't even need to get up from the couch while binge-watching to get things done. In the house. Or in the neighborhood. Or even in the neighboring galaxy.
3. Conflicts will always be in your favor
This is an easy one. If you want to stay among the living, don't mess with me, my flaming-hot red head of a girlfriend, or my dog. It's that simple. Be cool and be chill and your atoms will stay where they are, otherwise, I hope you have no problem with discorporation.
4. No more traffic jams
Now I'm not saying I would have Jean do something about the accursed traffic situation wherever we go, particularly during rush hour. What I am saying is that I would keep away from the roads to the most popular dinner spots in the city, mostly during the times when people are about to have dinner, if you don't want a super-compacted car. Just saying.
5. Lady Luck in the flesh
Vegas, here we come to clean you out. You know, I've always resented that I would always come back home in a bus from a trip to Vegas, particularly since I always have a car when I go there. It's just not right how they never let me win at the tables there, and that before they let me leave I always have to sell my watch. And my car. And my left kidney. I think this time around I'll be asking for my proper winnings. Or else.
So now that you people know why I would still date the Dark Phoenix, you also probably know there's a good chance I would not survive the experience, so it was nice knowing all of you, and see you all on the other side.